Today's Friday Edition was written by Tangle Associate Editor Sophia Downs.
Editor’s note: Along with today’s Friday edition, we’re releasing a special podcast for Valentine’s Day: a conversation between Executive Editor Isaac Saul and his wife, Phoebe. We’ll be releasing the episode later today, and you can subscribe to listen to it when it comes out here.
A note from the team.
Back in 2022, we published an original essay from our outgoing editorial intern Audrey Moorehead, who wrote about the experience of transitioning from her hometown in Lynchburg, Tennessee, to Harvard University. Audrey has remained a part of the Tangle family since the end of her internship, and last year, she recommended a Harvard classmate of hers, Sophia Downs, as a candidate for our associate editor position. We brought Sophia on over the summer and since then, she’s been an invaluable member of our team.
As part of our offer of employment, and in keeping with our mission of providing you with a diverse range of perspectives, we offered her a capstone project: a personal essay (like Audrey’s) about any relevant topic that mattered to her. Today, we’re excited to share the final product with you — a thoughtful assessment of the evolving role of family, community and government in modern American life, grounded in Sophia’s experience as a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. In the midst of an unrelenting news cycle, we think it’s a great change of pace that offers a contemplative, measured look at the challenges facing U.S. society.
Without further ado, here is Sophia’s essay.
The beginning.
In the fall of 2020, I embarked on an 18-month-long proselyting mission in Washington state, leaving home in the midst of a global pandemic and a national upheaval as the country grieved the deaths of Breonna Taylor and George Floyd. During this time, I was continually asking myself: How can I best contribute my meager talents to making the world a better place? I found my answer in scripture.
In the Book of Mormon, a man named Alma is trying to figure out how best to address bad actions among a group of people. Here’s the conclusion Alma reaches on how to change their behavior: “As the preaching of the word had a great tendency to lead the people to do that which was just — yea, it had had more powerful effect upon the minds of the people than the sword, or anything else, which had happened unto them — therefore Alma thought it was expedient that they should try the virtue of the word of God.”
So, my 18-year-old self thought, if I really want to improve the world, the best thing I can do is seek to preach the word of God. Thus, I embarked on the journey to become a missionary, beloved to some and despised by many. When I began my mission, it was like a kitchen fan I hadn’t realized had been humming in my head turned off. All of a sudden, there was silence. I could hear myself think. My days were filled with interactions with strangers and new friends, where I gained an inside look into the most personal of people’s thoughts and lives: their relationships with God and family.
While serving as an official representative of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, I did not discuss politics (as the church is a politically neutral organization). Instead, I focused on learning and applying spiritual principles that can help anyone overcome challenges and strengthen relationships in their life. The questions of the soul and the answers individuals sought came not through government programs or policies, but through these relationships.
I found this principle beautifully articulated in the words of the late Neal A. Maxwell, a church leader who previously worked in government: “It is the home that we must rescue, repair, and sustain. Only when homes are full of truth, warmth, and trust, can our other institutions perform their tasks.”
Taking these words as the guiding principle, this essay blends personal experience (the admittedly little of it that I have) with historical vignettes, faith principles, and some data here and there. I discuss the evolving role of family, community, and government, ultimately concluding that we should first seek to nurture our closest relationships when effecting change.
Why is America so lonely?
Last month, outgoing U.S. Surgeon General Vivek Murthy released his “Parting Prescription for America.” The document follows an advisory report released in 2023 describing the challenges of America’s “epidemic of loneliness and isolation.” This epidemic didn’t come out of nowhere, nor was it born in 2020 with the social distancing necessitated by the COVID-19 pandemic — but it’s now a prominent feature in American life, driving down our collective wellbeing. In his book Bowling Alone: The Collapse and Revival of American Community, political scientist Robert D. Putnam details the decline of in-person social interactions (and social capital more broadly) in the United States since the 1950s, positing this behavioral change hurts our democracy. Bowling Alone was released 25 years ago.
Putnam detailed a trend that extends beyond just bowling. Between 1970 and 2021, the share of adults aged 25–49 living with a spouse and at least one child dropped by 30%, while the prevalence of other kinds of living arrangements (i.e. unmarried parents with children or cohabitation without children) increased. The U.S. birth rate writ large is on the decline, and a growing portion of the population is single.
This isn’t to demonize non-traditional families or children of divorce — so many of these families function healthily and provide stability and support. However, the overall trend leads to a conclusion: Loneliness starts at home.
I’m not the only one thinking about changing trends in relationships in our society — particularly when it comes to marriage. In the landmark 2015 Supreme Court case Obergefell v. Hodges, the Court acknowledged “the Nation’s traditions make clear that marriage is a keystone of the Nation’s social order,” and “States have contributed to the fundamental character of marriage by placing it at the center of many facets of the legal and social order.”
Murthy, Putnam, and the Court are all touching on a foundational truth — robust families and strong marriages are the functional cells of a healthy body politic. Why? The reasons are almost too numerous to count: Children in two-parent families experience greater rates of social mobility, are more likely to become high-income adults, are less likely to be involved in crime, and are more likely to graduate from college.
How we got there.
